I‘ll dive straight into this topic because man oh man, do you need to get rid of that toxicity. And nope, this time I’m actually not talking about farts. I’m talking about people.
when I speak of ”toxic people” I mean those who are always negative and try to influence your life in a negative way as well. I am not talking about those who are going through hard times and are dealing with it and because of that they can be negative at times.
You are your worst enemy
Toxic people have a very slick way of ruining your mood and even your life. They can drain your energy, make you feel less worthy and they can seriously destroy your mental health.
If you think it’s impossible to block them out of your life, I’m here to tell you it’s not.
I’ve delt with lots of toxic people in my life and because I know many people are dealing with this issue but don’t really know how to deal with it correctly, I wanted to share with you some of the things I did that actually worked.
Because listen boo, you have to make the right decisions. Those toxic people aren’t going to do that for you.
First things first, observe. Be aware of what’s happening, so that you know you’re not seeing things that aren’t there. When the time comes that someone tries to spray those toxins on you, you actually have something to confront them about.
Then when they strike again with the toxic behaviour you tell them “No” and make it clear you don’t want anything to do with them. I personally don’t believe that saying “sorry” is something you should be doing.
For example: “Sorry, but I’m not doing that because …”
Hell naw, you have nothing to be sorry for and you don’t owe them an explanation. You’re standing up for yourself. Since when do you need to apologize for that? No, stand tall and respect yourself enough to not except that kind of behaviour.
If you don’t make it known that they are ruining your mood and with that your life day in and out, you are being your own worst enemy.
You deserve so much better and if you only knew how strong you actually are, you would never let anyone have such control over your life, ever again.
When you’re standing up for yourself and your palms are sweaty, knees weak arms are heavy. There’s vomit on your sweater already – Mom’s spaghetti , then STILL don’t be intimidated by that.
I absolutely love this quote by the one and only:
“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” – Carrie Fisher (from her book Wishful Drinking)
Very powerful words from the woman who slayed the role of Princess Leia and very true. You’re actually overcoming a fear here. Hmm, that gives me some great ideas for a future blog post.. But back to this one, the more you stand up for yourself, the more you will get used to it.
When you overcome your fear once, there’s no reason to be scared for it twice.
The power of a strong mindset
And there’s a chance that these toxic people still try to manipilate you, even though you said “NO” to them. But don’t get fooled here, my dear reader. Before you open your mouth, look at them and think about your values. Remind yourself of your limits and how it makes you feel when someone doesn’t respect that.
While you’re reminding yourself of that, they probably think you’re considering to stay on their side but you’re actually becoming aware of what is going on. So, repeat to them what you said before, to remind them that you’re not playing games.
Not only do you show them, but you also show yourself, that you have full control over your own mind at that point. And believe me, they can’t break a person with a strong mindset. They can only get intimidated by that.
New friends, new relationships, new people are always around the corner. You do not need to stay with the old toxic ones. This even counts for family members. Never limit yourself because someone thinks they have the right to be in your life. That’s YOUR decision.
Respect yourself, respect others but draw the line when surcumstances so dictate. Lol, I felt like a real flight attendant when I wrote that last sentence
Don’t hang out with folks that are doing things you would never do to yourself. Toxic people are like a virus. You already went to the Doctor’s (moi), now it’s time to get cured.
Have a blessed Monday!
All gifs used in this blog post are from http://www.giphy.com.
Britney Spears gif credit