relationships Stories

You Turned The Page, I Burned The Book

It is always a surprise when life throws curve balls at you and recently one of those hit me pretty hard in the face. I’ve had to deal with this and now it’s time to share my story with you. My goal for today’s blog post is not to be bitter and negative, but instead show how important it is to always stay true to yourself and hopefully with that I am able to inspire those who went, or are going through the same thing. 

Hemp Woman Face Beauty Pinterest Graphic

I’m not gonna lie, I am a pretty anxious writing this. It’s not the first time I have written something personal tho. I mean, in previous blogs I mentioned my fear of losing my loved ones, feeling stuck in life and overcoming my fears to actually start doing what I always wanted to do, which is blogging.

But in today’s blog post I dive a little bit deeper into my personal life. Recently something has happened that had quite an impact on me and I feel now is the right time to share it with y’all. But, for privacy reasons I won’t share any real names or who this person was to me. Therefore I want to refer to her as Patricia, one of my greatest friends, lol omg the AnXiEtY is reaaalllll. Are you ready? ‘Cuz I’m definitely not! haha

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The Anakin to my Obi-Wan

So, Patricia. We have been friends for a very long time. We basically know each others deepest secrets, have pretty much the same interests and we always had each others backs. She was my shoulder to cry on and vice versa. We spoke to each other every single day, wether it was through words or memes and we always, always found a reason to make each other laugh. She was like a sister to me, like I was to her.

But then something happened. Something so incredibly messed up, that showed me that no matter how well you think you know a person, they might not always be who you think they are. Like I said earlier, because of privacy reasons I won’t go into great detail but basically we got into an argument about something that happened. She didn’t really know what to think about the whole situation and was very vague on a lot of things. I tried to talk to her about this situation, because I thought she deserved to know my side of the story. She continued being vague, and got angry at me the moment I dropped facts. I can’t say she stood her ground, because to me it felt like she was trying to stay ignorant on this whole topic. I stood my ground and said what I needed to say, but that eventually led to her totally ignoring and blocking me from basically every social media platform.

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It was hard for me to get that knife in my back, but I know it was harder for her to accept the truth. I’ve had been betrayed by friends before, but this was new to me. I mean, this was fucking Patricia, dude. My homie for life, the Anakin to my Obi-Wan. How am I suppose to move on from this?

Unleash your inner therapist

At first I was very angry, but I quickly realized that I was actually disappointed. I don’t believe in expectations, but with her I never expected this to ever happen. I guess I was wrong.

Now, I’ve learned that dwelling in the past, wishing for this, hoping for that won’t do you any good. There’s nothing to gain from wondering what could’ve been said or done, it happened and I just had to accept that.

3So what did I do? you may ask. Well, I started decluttering! I was thinking about changing up my bedroom, but when this happened I knew I wanted to get a fresh new mindset, a new vibe. And the only way to do that, is to let go of the old.

In all honesty, I threw everything that had something to do with her where it belongs: ✨da trash✨. And let me tell you, if you’re ever going through something like this, know that having a little declutter sesh with yourself is therapeutic as fuck! It might sound corny, but I felt like there was a certain weight lifted off my shoulder. 

She was my best friend, yes. But this betrayal was unfortunately meant to happen, sooner or later. And since I always try to look at things from a positive perspective, I realized that I no longer have to deal with someone who acts as if I’m special to her, yet kicks me off a cliff two seconds later. So did I lose anything other than my friendship? No, absolutely not. In fact, I gained a little more knowledge on life and strength to overcome such a thing.

So the decluttering went well, I threw a lot of shit away and I instantly felt that my mind became clearer. Somewhere in the back of my head I have always felt that this could happen, but of course this pendejo had to give her friend the benefit of the doubt, smh…

Faded Mountain Hike with White Text Nature Desktop Wallpaper

During this process of cleaning up my room etc, I talked to myself in my head and made one thing clear. I literally said:

Listen, this is not the end of the world. You got a whole life in front of you. You are surrounded by pure and genuine people. You have a job, a roof over your head and air in your lungs. Let this be a lesson. You stayed true to yourself. She did not respect you, but you showed her you respect yourself. And what she is going to do from now on, is her concern, not yours anymore. Unfortunately this is also a part of life, but you either accept it and move on or forever play the victim and gain absolutely nothing from it. The choice is yours.

And honestly guys, that’s how it went. Yes it sucks, yes I wish it never happened, but it did and I can’t take it back. I’m now trying to focus on the positive: my bedroom I am re-decorating, appreciating being above ground and able to chase my hopes and dreams in life, watching the new episodes of Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 7,’ cuz y’all know I’m that bitch… 🤓

Anxiety? Never heard of her…

In a way I’m relieved. Relieved that although I had certain expectations of her, I never led myself down. I don’t have anything to do with her anymore, and that means there’s one less fake person I’m surrounded by. And that ladies and gents, is why you should always turn the negative into something positive.

We don’t lose, we only gain. And sometimes we don’t know what we did to deserve something bad, but one thing is certain, it always happens for a reason.

Now, before I end this post, if you’re going through something like this I want you to know that with the right mindset and the willpower to overcome, you will in fact overcome, for you are stronger than you know. ❤️

Thank you for reading my story. I hope I didn’t bore the hell out of you tho. Oh and btw, you know that anxiety I was talking about earlier? It’s kinda gone. And with kinda I mean, I still have to post this. So here I go….

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